Believe me that the topic for this scrap occurred to me when I just happened to catch my reflection in a mirror while passing a shop in Dehli.
Hell, I almost fainted. No, I wasn’t looking like something that the cat brought in. Worse, something that it just sniffed at and left outside…!
Well, I had to grant it to myself that my life circumstances had been fairly extenuating of late and I hadn’t been able to be very well put together, but then how could I (I couldn’t!) justify the facial expression I had— more dour than yoghurt sour?
Come on, I admonished
myself, so what if life was
coming a cropper these days?
There are good times and there are bad times and
you’ve got to take it all in your stride— that’s what life
Fine piece of thinking, if I may say so myself, but it didn’t seem to be showing—WHY? So I donned my best analytical attitude and started probing.
Good thing I did too, because
it opened my eyes to some
—but then, home-truths
seldom are. Savoury, that is. They also tend to make us
rather uncomfortable but
they do manage to iron out
quite a few rough and jagged edges in our persona… Anyways, what my soul-searching made me realize (much to my distress, ofcourse) was that somewhere along the way, I had started believing that I was a victim —a victim of unfortunate circumstances, of other
people’s machinations, of
missed opportunities and so
In short, all the bad things
were due to someone or something else. And you
know what, it is not only me
but you, you, and you. Yes,
even you. We all play the
victim to a greater or smaller degree—we revel in it, and we seek refuge in it and even absolution from all responsibility for whatever is not working in our lives.
We do it because playing the
victim is easy. In our own eyes we get off scot-free
from any kind of
accountability for anything
going awry in our lives, our
careers, our relationships,
whatever. This kind of thinking may make us feel
guilt-free but there is one
major drawback which we
tend to overlook. By blaming
someone or something we
also attribute our power to the victimizer, thereby
making ourselves be reft of
any control over either our
circumstances or our attitude towards them.
If, instead, we worked on our relationship with ourselves, chances are that we’d be able to view things from a different perspective and make things work out for us!
Look, most of us somehow tend to give up on happiness and contentment by just feeling lethargic and lackadaisical towards life. We
condition ourselves to believe that we don’t have what it takes to click in society, or are not attractive enough or worse, we don’t deserve to chase our dreams, or we are non-achievers because of the childhood that we had.
The list is endless. As well as
meaningless. Assigning blame
everywhere but ourselves has a feel-good quality about it which is misleading. Instead, we should take a fresh look at things and especially at our self-relationship because that really holds the key.
WE have the power to make our dreams come true, so why assign it away to someone or something else?
Believe in yourself and in the
fact that happiness is your
birth right. You have the right, just like everyone else, to have a life filled with joy and love and excitement.
So let these good things happen to you—for God’s sake, don’t get in the way of your own destiny! Get rid of your complexes, your meekness and the compulsion to play small—reach out and grab the stars.
Start connecting with
yourself to know who you
really are, what are your
dreams and your potentialities and then you will be able to recognize your destiny and walk towards it.
Hey, what the hell am I waiting for? If things are going badly, let them.
I have the power to set things right or at least to view them differently. That is the beginning of my happiness.
What about yours?
. . . . shabab khan
(Author is in Export business; and writes in ECCG Journal, ITO Journal, EPCH Journal; Writes for Traveller; writes short story)
email me: firstname.lastname@example.org