|One of the Asaram Spiritual Lesson|
Defense lawyer for Asaram Bapu, Ram Jetmalani has today claimed in the court hearing, that AXE was the reason that women were attracted to Asaram.
Further, Malani Ji reminds, Asaram is a holy godman, who always used to stay atleast few naughtical miles away from women, younger and teen girls had no interest in Bapu’s preachering, it was just AXE either in Woodoo or Chocolate Flavours he specified, the octogenerian Bapu sprayed on his body, which forced teens and college going girls to be charged and run toward his client’s Ashram Bapu to assault him until he is unconscious.
Axe manufacturers, which feared law suit from defense lawyer of Asaram, immediately released an Ad featuring the
godman lookalike who is assaulted by a bunch of wild girls in a lift for that on-screen Asaram Bapu has sprayed Axe in Java Edition. If Bapu can become Chick-Magnet, why not a guy…?
Defense lawyer Ram Jethmalani had already brilliantly argued for the case stating that women had mental disorders that attracted them to Asaram.
But due to wrath shown upon him by social media, he had retracted that
statement. As lawyers heaved a big sigh of relief, the lawyer diligently brought out another argument that Asaram’s Axe fragrance has drawn women in the past too.
And, he added that Axe company will be sued for troubling the poor and pious Asaram Bapu. Listing the days when he was surrounded by women devotees, Jethmalani linked those days with Asaram spraying Axe on himself. “If you have doubts, you can have a view at the ads they show on TV”, shouted the
lawyer among the commotion caused by other lawyers.
Twitter, once again, erupted with tweets making fun of Jethmalani’s words. One such tweet was, “Lord Parasuram used Axe and stayed away from women. Asaram used Axe to stay a day with women #AsaramBapu”.
Speaking to the media, Asaram’s aide Mosaram revealed the motive behind the rape of minor girl. Asaram, being a brilliant researcher and having got doctorate in social
psychology, gave an excellent solution to the rape problems few
Mosaram said, “Asaramji, approached that girl and wanted to experiment on his theory to apply for the patent.
When he was experimenting,the results had turned negative. (it is because the girl knew what’s what, she must be watching porns sites.) Bapu had expected that girl to have uttered Saraswati mantra, but he was hearing her screams. She should have taken God’s name and could have held his hand and said I consider you as my brother and should have said, brother I am helpless, you are my brother, my religious brother. She should have taken God’s name and held his hands and feet, then the misconduct won’t have happened.”
Shri Ranhonam Sad has suggested name change for Asaram. He wrote in city section of
Mumbai newspaper that, “Asaram Bapu sums to 420. He should change his name to “Besharam Bapu.” By this, he will escape from all these criminal cases and his new name will also perfectly suit him”.
Meanwhile reports from inside the jail are shockingly funny. The fragrance of Axe which was still in Asaram’s beard has attracted fellow male inmates it seems. Even after being locked in separate cell, inmates are continueusly trying their hands on BAPU.
JAI HO, MAHARAJ.