Realizing that it might be pretty difficult to grow up in an era without Sachin Tendulkar representing India, the government has decided to give “Tendulkar allowance” to children born after the Wankhede test the last test match of Sachins career.
“Tendulkar inspired an entire generation to become achievers at international level. He glittered while India had to mortgage its gold. He represented a new India,” a government official said.
“Now they say we are back to 90s. These are difficult times. With Tendulkar no more playing, whom will the new generation look up to? They clearly will be disadvantaged vis a vis the older generations,” the official explained the need to “compensate” children born in post-Tendulkar era.
Government concedes that the current cricket team has many talented cricketers but none of them can have the same impact like Sachin had in 90s. “Sachin was like a solitary solitaire on your ring finger. Not the same as having a diamond ring on every finger,” the official bravely used a metaphor and an analogy, which was not found controversial and objectionable by any activist group till reports last came in.
Convinced that it wont be the same to grow up without Sachin in action, the government has announced “Tendulkar Allowance” that will make every child born on or after 19th November 2013 eligible for a monthly stipend of 200 rupees.
“200 represents the 200 test matches”, the official explained, “Also, Planning Commission undertook an extensive study and concluded that 200 rupees per month was enough to pull up people above the Tendulkar line.”
When Vagabond asked if this was not a mockery to quantify Sachins impact to just 200 rupees per month, the government official told us not to rake up an unnecessary controversy. “World class economists and experts have come up with this Tendulkar line. What do you know about economics and cricket?” the official threw a poser to this reporter, who had no answer.
Under the new scheme, parents will need to enlist their newborn kids with the Sports Ministry to get this benefit. As a goodwill gesture, even kids of illegal Bangladeshi immigrants would come under the new scheme as Sachin scored his 100th international century against Bangladesh.
As expected, the announcement by the government has been opposed by the opposition parties who feel this is a violation of model code of conduct.
“This is just another ploy by Congress to use Sachins popularity to impress people and get votes from Indians as well as Bangladeshis,” a BJP leader protested, “What next? They will bring Right to Tendulkar bill?
Vagabond approched Marendra Nodi- (a bhai) for his comment over said allowence, “This will have no real impact”, Nodi Bhai said, “Instead, BJP promises to build Sachin Temples so that people can get inspired even after he has retired.”
While political parties were fighting over Sachins legacy, Tendulkar fans have welcomed the concept of “Tendulkar allowance”.
However, people of 80’s like Vagabond himself are argueing and twitting that they should be given 5000 bucks stipend to buy “OLD MONK” to get drunk and become stoic as they are simply unable to accept that even “God Retires.”