So, you are married today, whats next? Ofcourse honeymoon. Huh, abé aagé ka kya? Family? Kids? Well, let a year or so pass without any sign of kid, and you’ll be sorry to get married.
Some highly educated nuclear guys will understand that you aren’t yet prepare for the messy duty a newborn demands.
Its 6th year of your marriage; and you both are succeeded in terms of bearing no kid. You must be ready to tackle oldies, sisters, old buddies.
“Son, Dr. Seth would be perfect for Anju.” says my aunt who has 9 daughters and a son.
Then comes Bhabi ji, “Anju! Thoda der se soya kar, aur pati ke paer ka massage kiya kar.”
Worst! Now old friends, “Lagta hai mujhe hi kuchh karna padega.”
“I’d warned you Khan ki kuchh apni biwi ke liye bhi bacha le.”
Nobody could guess that this couple don’t wanna have a kid ever.
Brutal but Honest Reasons:
Whatever society may tell you, childlessness is not a bad thing. And I’ve some solid reasons in my support.
In a culture that is obsessed with seeing two newly weds become parents, not having kids may have never crossed your mind. But here are some perfectly valid reasons for not having a child!
1. I cannot afford one:
Gone are the days of Hum Do Hamare Do! A single child is enough to burn a large hole in your pocket. For your surprise, it costs you Rs.55,00 thousand to raise a child from cradle to 21 years of age.
Are you really ready to spend that sort of money on someone else (yes I know it’s your own blood etc. but still) or would you rather invest it for your retirement?
Imagine the things you can do with that sort of money! This, to many, might sound heartless but and ask yourself if you’d rather do those things or have a child.
Hint: There is no wrong answer.
Not Sure if they will be there for me:
A common argument against childlessness is that they will take care of you when you’re old.
Truth is there is no telling how one’s child turns out. Argue as much as you want about the virtues of upbringing, you know as much as we do that you have very little control over what your child does.
-What if s/he refuses to take care of you?
-What if s/he isn’t even in the same city or even the same country because her/his career has taken her/him places?
The possibilities of what a child will do when s/he grows up are beyond anyone’s imagination. So can you truly use that as an argument for having children?
No more people-
Another argument against childlessness is that it is ‘the natural order of things’.
With a little over 7 billion people on this planet, now might be a good time to start changing whatever the order may be, don’t you think?
Very often the need to have a child is born out of the desire to call someone ‘your own’, to see a reflection of yourself in the little one.
Children are great, true. But why having your own child should matter so much? Can you not just adopt? Or sponsor an underpriviliged’s education and upbringing?
Think about it!
4. Can’t Sacrifice:
If you are a parent already, you’ll possibly know the amount of sacrifices you have to make. If you are a sensitive person, you will also possibly be aware of and appreciative of the kind of sacrifices your parents had to make while raising you.
-Are you ready to make all of them (and more) yourself?
-Would you rather be at home on a weekend sleeping in late or would you rather be at your child’s cricket practice or preparing a costume for their fancy dress competition?
Sacrificing isn’t a bad thing if you want to do it but the fact is some of us don’t see it that way.
-Is it selfish?
Possibly! But know that there are several other ways to be selfless too.
I’d like to be able to take a vacation when I want to:
How often have you rued the crowds at tourist destinations when you’re travelling with your little ones?
-How often have you looked at an off season hotel tariff and sighed?
-How often have you wanted to get out of town just for a few days because work has been so, so terrible but couldn’t… because you cannot afford to disturb your child’s schedule?
None of this is to say that it is the child’s fault.
With a child comes responsibility and a lot of constrains. Depending on how you feel about raising babies, it can be a good thing or not.
6. I Just Don’t Like ’em:
Here’s the part that most people have trouble getting their head around…
-Do you find childlessness unnatural?
-Or do you believe that it is perfectly fine to get by in life without having a child?
Concluded: So guys, think about it. Not having a kid is not a cause to be ashamed.